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you can always tell a Finn..

My great grandfather immigrated to the United States from Finland. It seems funny to owe so much of who I am to a man who I have never met, but I do. His son, my grandpa Wally, was a thick-skinned Fin. He was stubborn as a nail with the voice of an angel.

Grandpa Wally married my beautiful Grandma Bea in their younger years. It was Grandma Bea who converted my Grandpa to the church. Together they raised two wonderful children, one of whom, being my mother. This is where I come from.

I will always be so grateful to Grandpa Wally for joining the church. He and Grandma Bea raised my mom in the church. She and my dad raised me in the church. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the easiest and surest way to define me. Even if I lost all my other passions, talents, etc., I would still know that I am a daughter of God. I have been raised with strong values and beliefs which guide me on a daily basis. My scriptures are a daily reminder of what I believe and why.

I like to think that I am a kind and thoughtful person, but most people will tell you that I am about as stubborn and proud as they come. My family says that that comes straight from Finland with my great grandfather. I keep a Finnish flag in my house to remind me where I came from and, quite honestly, to remind me to be a little kinder.

For me, music is synonymous with passion. There are very few things that can make me feel the Spirit stronger than Brahm's Requiem or Gretchaninov's sacred works. My immediate family is full of music lovers, but I firmly believe that I got my voice from my Grandpa Wally. I can still faintly remember his beautiful tenor voice singing "O, My Father." Music has changed me and changed with me throughout my life. It used to be a way to express myself, then a way to find value in myself. Now it is among the most direct paths between me and my Father in Heaven. I truly believe that music can soften hearts and change people. My hymn book reminds me that music is more than just entertainment. It is a gift to bring us closer to Him.

There are more than just these three things that define me, but I think this is a pretty good start. My sincere love of God and of music are two things that I will always possess. My stubborn nature is something I am working on all the time, and I am sure that someday I will crack it! It is for that reason that my grandparents always say, "You can always tell a Finn, but you can't tell him much."

unibenefitivity

I am a strong believer in the dualbenefitivity of music. By this, I mean that I know that music not only benefits the musician or performer, but also the listener or receiver. Or- it often does. Let me explain.

For private voice at BYU, we students spend 10+ hours a week practicing repertoire and technique in order to prepare ourselves for an end-of-semester juried performance. We walk into a room (one at a time) filled with the Vocal Department faculty, a handful of grad students, and a video camera, each with the same, stern expression. We sing, they make little eye contact, type away on their computers, and dismiss us. In this case, there is little benefit for the performer or the receiver. This is called, according to the Rikki Dictionary ©2012, naybeneficial. It does not benefit any of the parties involved. 

Next, going to see your favorite band in concert. Say you had the opportunity to spend a "Rare and Intimate Evening of Music with GUSTER. An Acoustic Evening Featuring the Guster Strings." Say this evening was the first show in their acoustic tour. Say this show was a total jam-fest for them and a total life-changing musical experience for you. This is one of those circumstances that benefits the performer and the receiver. This is dualbeneficial. 

In another instance, it is early in the morning and I am belting away my favorite power ballad in the shower. This is one of those cases that benefits the performer but not the sleeping receiver. As irritating as this may be, there is good in it. Let's call this unibeneficial. (I've made up three words today... productive!)

So. In addition to the wonderful world of dualbenefitivity, I am also a strong supporter of unibenefitivity. More simply stated, the art of making music for pure self-expression. Sometimes we create, not to entertain others, but to help make tangible the abstract emotions inside ourselves. 

I have two music videos to support this. They are both phenomenal. I find them absolutely inspiring. According to our definitions earlier, this would make them dualbeneficial. However, I do not believe they were made to keep the world happy. I believe that both of these videos are examples of raw expression. 

Without further adieu...


Brandon Flowers- Only the Young

Robyn- Call Your Girlfriend

There you have it, kids. Expression. Yummy, huh?

i beg you to jam.

I've got a small piece of wonderful news. My darling boyfriend proposed to me and I have been an engaged woman for just over two weeks! I have a certain displeasure for reading entire engagement stories on blogs. I have two strong beliefs, as far as this is concerned. First, I feel that if you are interested enough, we could discuss such matters in person :) Second, I am convinced that I have the most incredible, romantic, hilarious, and terrifyingly attractive fiance in the world. I am so in love with our story and his proposal that I feel he deserves the best presentation possible when expressing it. I would prefer not post it in type for the world to read, but rather, again, express it in real life, in tangibility*, in person. 

*can anybody tell me if that is a real word???

SO! In lieu of a poorly written (without nearly enough justice given) proposal story, I will give you my song of the week. 

This is not, so to say, "our song." But it is the song of the week! Erik and I have been jamming out to this song all week long and we just can't get enough. Sometimes our jams out are serious and include semi-slow dancing, but most often they include running around, jumping on furniture, hick break dancing, or pretending to drive chariots of horses. You may pick which ever you like, or come up with your own. In any case, I beg you to jam. 

With love-

Applaud

Yesterday I came across my list of New Year's resolutions. As I looked through some of the things I had hoped to accomplish, I realized that sometimes life has other plans. My list included things like putting myself "out there" more, keeping my room clean, cooking new meals every week, saving up money for a new camera, and the like. Ask me how many of these things have happened in the last six months. I will tell you. None. At first, I was a bit disappointed! Can you blame me? I have become another statistic! One more failed New Year's Resolutioner. My life is a pathetic mess.


As I moped about my apartment and begrudgingly worked on (or put off) a music theory composition, I started to think of the things I have accomplished in the last six months. I finished my second year of college. I made it through my first year in my music program! I fell more in love with teaching voice lessons! I became an AUNT! (See pictures HERE). I moved in with my cousin and best friend since birth! I found a boy who makes my life a constant adventure! I got a job! All things that I did not plan. Many of them, hard things! I AM NOT A PATHETIC MESS! I AM A CONFIDENT, ACCOMPLISHED MESS!


Here is the moral of my story. You can do hard things.


Here is the second moral of my story. Accomplishments, even if unexpected or unplanned for, are still accomplishments. Be proud of them. Throw your list out the window if it makes you happier.


Listen to this song. Guster. All The Way Up To Heaven. It's fabbie.

Notice the key change just shortly after 3:10. Now notice the inserted applause just after the key change. Best. That's what it's all about, kids. YOU EXECUTED THAT KEY CHANGE WITH SUCCESS!!! APPLAUD YOURSELF!


You can do hard things.

fake plastic trees

let me pose a question.


what do you get when you mix together a musician, a seed, and an assignment to make the seed grow?


let me give you the answer-


a sad musician, a dead seed, and a failed assignment.

haha k so unfortunately this is a true story. for my marriage and family class, I was asked to grow this seed and keep it alive all semester. sadly, for me, my baby seed never even sprouted! 


i am reminded of a radiohead song, "fake plastic trees." 
(my entire radiohead repertoire has to be completely credited to my friend McKay.)
(ignore the weird... i mean creative... album cover...)

so, as far as this assignment is concerned, i get another chance. do you think my teacher would notice if i... maybe just... took a little different approach? isn't college about expanding my horizons? 


or branching out? (pun completely intended.)

hmm. maybe not my best idea.

i wouldn't be bothering you..

We begin. with. The Killers.


OH THE KILLERS! Thanks to my dear, sweet, roommate Natalie, I have been on this kick that I just can't seem to shake. In 2006, the Killers released their album Sam's Town. Absolutely brilliant. Let me tell you. Actually, don't let me tell you. Go Youtube it for yourself. Anyway, on that album is a song entitled "Why Do I Keep Counting?"


Here's a vid. watch it.

So here is what I love about the Killers. They are phenomenal. Easy enough right? So truthfully, Nat has had me listening to them for about a year, but I could never really feel it. Then one day, we sat down and watched a Blu-ray of their live concert at the Royal Albert Hall in London. 


I was converted.


They are such musicians! They are so sensitive to musical concepts and BOY can those men feel! Passion literally emanates from the stage when they perform. I will see a Killers concert before I die. 


So this song. Why Do I Keep Counting? Let's talk about it. To me, this song is Brandon Flowers, Ronnie Vanucci, Dave Keuning, and Mark Stoermer, simply pleading for help. What poets. "Father, help me get down! I can make it!" Life is hard. It's beautiful, but it's hard. Trials make us humble. Humility is what brings us to Christ. 


They use the line "If I only knew the answer, I wouldn't be bothering You." 
I translate this to "Good thing I didn't know the answer or I wouldn't have had this opportunity to come closer to You!!!!!" The whole song is just a big, helpless, emotional prayer. 


Food for thought :)